Bye-Bye Baba

Approximately 9 years ago I met Robin Marie Beckham-Sutton. Because of my BFF from High School ( who happened to be her half sister),  this very young and free spirited girl walked in to my life to "babysit" my young son, Jax. She was under the impression it would be "every once in a while" and I was under the influence that she was going to be three times a week ( I was running a nonprofit in those days). Amy, her sister and my BFF, had crossed the wires but I think there was a bigger plan than we all knew at the time.

Baba was working at one of the radio stations in Austin..... total party scene. I think after a couple of late nights with the radio station and a couple of early mornings at my house she had to rethink what she was going to do. Lets just say, I paid better.  Thank God she choose us over the radio station.

So the years went on and so did my specialty of reproducing children. Some how, she stayed!
She has seen me through some really rough times. Things my husband probably never knew happened because she never once missed a beat. I can literally start a sentence and she can finish it..... she has made me a better Mom.

Now, as of this evening and 6 AM tomorrow morning she gets to start a new chapter in her life.... full time wife to Jeff Sutton. She will get to be called "Robin" by people. She will be known as Mrs. Sutton instead of Baba and that guy she is married to..... Jeff. She can wear cute clothes instead of "kid friendly, vomit safe" clothes. She will get to start HER family.
She has made A LOT of sacrifices for me and my family. Honestly, I don't have words to express!!
This is so very hard for me to say in words. Baba is not just my "Nanny". She is my soul sister and family. My kids will ache without her presence. There are even bets that Thomas will find me in a corner "babbling" without Baba. Friends keep asking me--- who will replace Baba?

I say- NO ONE. There is NO WAY there will ever be a replacement. The idea of help- I just can't go there --- yet! Give me 2 weeks with 5 kids and I will be begging for help!
This girl has always been so loving to my kids. Hell, she even saw Madelon Rose being born. She knows me very well.... and I would like to say I know her too!
That is why we decided not to even say anything to each other. It is all understood!! Unusual for someone like me, I know- but I just can't say it. Sooooo-- it is "see you soon" !
One last note before I completely loose it!

I (WE) love you.... you are family Baba..... I pray for you every day. Thank you Jeff for sharing her all these years. After all these years---- a cyber hug! :}
God's blessings to you.... you have learned from me what NOT to do.... you will be an excellent MOM!
See you soon...... my sweet friend! I love you!
PS- this last picture is Baba with her "first baby".... Jax

Terrance- Our Brother From Another Mother

Oh Terrance. He is "the man". Terrance started working for me about 10 years ago. He told me that he "only rolls paint". I said, "Great- I want this all done asap"! We lived in Jester at the time and our walls were over 20 feet high. He just looked up saying, "All the way up?"......

Well, Terrance ended up being my second "husband". Let me explain..... He was there to help me get done the HONEY DO'S while Thomas was off to work. He painted, he lifted, pushed, pulled furniture.  He is my fix it guy, my go to guy-- my get it done guy. He would help my Memom with anything and everything. Terrance has watched my kids. Terrance is family.

So, those of you who know him-- help him when you can.... he is a good man! If you need a good guy for paint or other jobs- call me, I will hook you up with "Mr. T".
Terrance was able to leave Austin, Texas for the first time in his 46 years to help us move. He drove the Honda. During his journey, he saw it snow in May, visited Vegas-- btw, he says its "trash"-- and saw REAL mountains.... not rolling hills. Since he has been here we visited Seattle and he hiked the Silver Falls. It seems that he has had a wonderful time with us. We feel great that he could be here with us during this time......

He says he will come back to visit and help us in August. I assure him that all the boxes will be exactly where they are today. He knows I am right!
So thank you Terrance. It is a wonderful friendship..... so glad you are our friend.
Be smart- make good choices and know that The Tuckers are always here for you...... you are family!

Holiday Weekend!

Yesterday I FINALLY got my groove back! I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me. I know there is a lot on my plate- but usually I  flourish under the pressure. This time, I just froze! I guess it would be my type of "depression". It went on for over a week! But, I AM BACK BABY!!
Poor Terrance- I am sure he wished I was still in my funk. I sent Thomas, kids , ChiChi and Baba off for an adventure.....then I got to work. I started at 7:30 AM and did not sit down till 7:30 PM.
I fed Henry- but other than that--- I did not sit down all day.
We rearranged the garage. We emptied boxes. We rearranged the attic. At the end, the LAST box- that was totally mislabeled- I found my bedding!!!!! OH I WAS SOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!
It had all fallen into place! No- I am not done but I am more settled.
The kids went on a hike that was 1.5 hours up and down. It was worth the hike, they saw a gorgeous waterfall called Silver Falls. They were dog tired when they got home.... perfect!

Today- we go to the Pediatrician for Henry. Fatty patty will see how much he has grown. He started cereal and butternut squash this week. He likes it a little bit--- but still LOVES his Mommy! :}

This weekend we will get my mom's place together.... enjoy some bbq and hopefully hangout! Terrance and Baba leave soon- so I would like to enjoy the time left!
Now, if it would just STOP raining........

GREEEEEEN Acres is the place for me....

Alright! I am becoming one with nature. I have this wonderful place in the back that is an actual garden. It had not been planted for this spring but in one phone call I found JIM.... Master gardner and one interesting dude. I want to be his friend. He is THE MAN of gardens. He has his own "personal" garden of over 5,000 sq. feet. YIKES!
He brought in his machines- tilled it and planted it in one day! It was VERY exciting. He handed me some tools, told me this is how you get the weeds out, this is how you kill bugs, this is where your rhubarb is planted, your pumpkins, your heirloom carrots....... and BOOOOOM- I was a gardner!

O-K! Now in my mind I heard- "here is your tool...... blah, blah, carrots.... to kill the weeds- blah blah and turn this blah blah blah". I had lost him at here is your tool. As much as I was excited about the new garden and growing my own veggies.... I was like a deer in the headlights! HELLO- I just came from the city where fresh veggies means coming from a shopping spree at Whole Foods! Ummmm- can I make it grow? SUUUUUREEEE! How hard can this be? LOL!
Lucky for me- Jim is willing to come and tutor me. He will help me this season so I can learn how it "rolls" here. I am use to everything burning up crispy in Tx by May. It is STILL spring here-- NOT summer!!

My fear is not getting the house in order. It is killing this yard! Serious, this is the yard you dream of -- the one that is pictured in Southern Living. The one that makes Martha Stewart look stupid. It is gorgeous! I have 3 fruit trees, roses that are just sinful, grapes, 800 sq foot garden and grass with ZERO bugs and that feels like cotton when you run on it with bare feet. Instant therapy!!

I will let you know more later. Yesterday we went to Seattle for a break.... I will blog on that later.
We will finish organizing some junk, help my mom with her junk then chill for the weekend. June 1 will be a dark day for me. Terrance- my brother from another mother and fix it guy- and BABA will leave me to come back to Texas. Stay tuned. It will be a long, loving blog.... as soon as I scrape myself off the floor from my crying fit.
Welcome to reality!

Holy BOXES Batman!! Moving part 2

The move started great! I just never realized how much CRAP we have!! Actually----- I wanted to down size a LOT more than we did BUT certain people I live with thought we needed everything we had in the Marshall house. OMG!!!!
Sooooooo --- it took one 48 ft, one 45ft and TWO 35 foot trailers to unload all our treasures into a house and a condo. Ok, you can say it-- that is a LOT OF CRAP!!! Yes, and I drank a LOT of wine after the last truck left my driveway. It was FINALLY over. There are some areas you just can't walk in. This is mainly our oversized 2 car garage.
Oh, don't get me wrong- you can't walk anywhere without sqqqquuuueeezzzziiinngg past a box but the garage is just pitiful. At the end of the day when the movers want me to direct them with a box my standard answer became "burn it". I meant it and still do.
I think unpacking is worse than the packing. It is just mind blowing.
My husband looks at me and wonders "What is in all of these boxes?". If looks could kill he would be 9 ft under!! I don't know where it all came from but it did and now I have to wade through it one box at a time.

The children have been super cool considering their world has been turned upside down. I am just trying to hold it together. Sleep is not happening and I am just a babbling idiot. Tomorrow I sleep in my own bed!!
Here are a couple of pictures of empty/full. I will send more as it goes on.
Oh- did I mention the high is 70' and it is "sprinkling" here. LOVELY- and the air smells soooo good!

More to come.....
Ok- here are 2 pictures..... for some reason I am having a hard time uploading. First is the bedroom and second is the living room! Simple but should explain it only gets worse!

here is the living room.... 10 boxes had been unpacked and piano was set up.... ugh!

THEY MADE IT!! Moving Day part 1.

At 6:30 PM my husband, boys, mom and Brenda (our friend) all rolled into Wenatchee. Thomas and the boys had finally run out of clean underwear so that was the cue that the road trip must come to an end.
It was good to see some familiar faces..... especially my husband!!
Like I have said- he still gives me butterflies when I see his face...... I love him!

The boys were very excited to see their new home. They did everything we told them NOT to do- like throw rocks in the ravine, walk through the fish pond and demonstrate their new sling shots ( Dad's idea of a new toy). It was good to have them home with me.
My mom seems to like her place. She opened up all the closets, was excited to see a stackable washer/dryer and couldn't wait to plant some herbs on her porch. Unimpressed with the PINK walls of her bedroom (it can be changed) she seems to be happy.

At 8 AM today the trucks roll in..... and the crazy day begins. The first move is 30 THOUSAND pounds of furniture. It will be divided up between ours and my mom's houses. That is a lot of crap!
This is the stuff they came and got back in November. The "essentials" come by Wednesday.
Thank GOD Baba bought me some Milano cookies at the store. She told me should I start to loose it- grab the bag, sit down outside and eat! Folks- she will definitely be getting me another bag or two!!

Well, I am off to breakfast- house- and chaos!!!!!! I will keep you posted. If you try to call me today I doubt I will answer the phone.
Keep us in your prayers.... much love to ALL our friends.

"Mom-are we there yet?" Yes, we are at our new home.......

It was asked all day long..... ALL day long! People would ask me if I live in Seattle or Wenatchee. My response was-- "Yes, I live in Wenatchee as of today, May 13, 2010".
The girls would ask over and over and over and over again..... is this our new home?

The trip went great. The girls were wonderful and so was little Henry. I am beyond exhausted and have not yet realized I am no longer living in TEXAS...... oh wait- yes I do- I am sitting outside this evening with zero bugs and mid 60's. PERFECT weather people- perfect!!!
My sweet friend, fix-it-guy and painter, Terrance drove my mini van up to Wenatchee.  Folks, this is a dude that has NEVER been past the Tx border. Off he went in my mini van.... full of excitement. He called me excited about everything. He even saw snow in Utah. Listen- have I mentioned he is our brother from another mother..... he is African American. Lets just say, you can spot Terrance in a crowd here. It is humorous! He is thinking EVERYONE is staring at him......picture 2 white girls, 3 white babies and a black man all out to dinner at the Red Robin........ funny stuff!

Fast Forward--- We are here. We are safe. WE are tired. It ain't over. I have 3 days till the movers come. I have been letting others do work on the house. I walked through it today. They have done an excellent job. YES, there are some small oopsies but nothing I can't fix in the next couple of days.
The house is lovely. The projects that I am doing are looking GREAT! I won't know my name by June 1st but hopefully I will get it done.

One last thing- Thomas is having an awesome time with his boys.... although he sprained his ankle. I am so thankful for this time he has given to his boys. He is making memories for a lifetime. I don't care if I am cross eyed right now--- its worth it for my boys and their dad.

Ok- it is 9:30 here--11:30 Texas time. I will write more later. Thanks for praying for us--- keep it up. Love to all of you..... I miss you already!

The Longest "Good-bye"..... EVER!

Moving time is here! This will be the LAST post from Austin, Texas!
AHHHHH- Texas... the one and only home I have ever known. I have lived all over it but never out of it.
Change is good. Change is scary. Change is life!

Ok- - So-- Here is my latest observations. I have been telling those I love, adore, admire and laugh with "good-bye" for over a week. We have had Tex-mex that could last us the rest of our life. We have laughed until we cried! We drank lemoncello with our friends. :} We have enjoyed intimate dinners, family dinners and surprise "girls night" out. It has been LOVELY!! Words cannot express the joy I have felt in the last weeks. I think EVERYONE ( including us- in a way) is now tired and ready to see us leave. It is bitter sweet! It is time to pack it up and move it out.....

Tomorrow is the last day for the boys. The class "good-bye" will be hard for everyone. I am not looking forward to tomorrow afternoon. My heart goes out to my children. I am sure they think this is the "END" of their lives..... they have been very brave! They too have been surprised with play dates and class parties. It is nice to know that our kids are loved so by others and that they will be missed.
Trust me folks--- we will miss EVERYONE!!!

So, change..... yes- it comes when we least expect it. We talk about it- we think about it- we threaten to do it--- but when it comes to it we just don't want to "risk" it. It is scary. It has made us realize what we have, what we are giving up and what we are gaining. In this moment it makes sense but in 3 months we might think something else. (NAH- we prayed WAY tooooooo hard for this. )
Trust and believe!!
I have had a lot of changes in the last couple of weeks:
Glasses- I am blind and admit it was time to suck it up and wear them.
Hair- I thought I would try to embrace a new color-- like my "natural" color.
Old age- or should I say close to 40 and rising--- you realize it is here when every day something is sore and hurts. Embrace it people.... it ain't getting easier.
 Friendship- I believe this with all my heart.... true friends will always be your true friends. You don't have to worry about THAT changing!

Well, I guess I will sign out. Damn it- this is hard! Part of me is so very excited and so much is so very sad. We have loved it here! Me, as a child, having such a rich family heritage here. Thomas, as a physician, helping and serving such wonderful patients and such a great community.
Us together- finding true love, having great friends, great memories and of course our children.

Thank you all-- for being our friends. Thank you for being there even when we didn't know WE needed the support. We will miss you. Come visit!!! Please keep in touch
 Most important--- pray for us!!
God Bless you all!!!


A few pics of lovely memories......

THE BABA

BRINGING HOME BROTHER

GERMANY

HALLOWEEN IN SAN ANTONIO

DADDY'S PRINCESS #1

BAPTISMS

CHILDREN

TRADITIONS

HERE IS TO OUR NEW ADVENTURE!! 

YOU CARRY SPECIAL MEMORIES IN OUR HEARTS.....

20 Years... Flashback

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy..... it is officially May! This train is moving like a bullet and I can hardly catch myself to breathe! Where in the world did the time go?

At 1:30 PM yesterday I received a text from my sweet husband. "Just saw my last patient in the clinic".
That sentence was hard. I can't imagine how he feels. TWENTY YEARS folks, 20 years. My sweet husband isn't a man of many words ( that is why he married me ), but this week has been a hard one. I look back now and see sadness. This is a man- who paid and worked his way through medical school. Not a trust fund baby, no free ride. He is a son of a preacherman.... sing it sista!

Thirteen years ago ( a little longer than that actually) I walked into SWRCC. "Cancer" was in my body and I was only 22 years old. I had been partially blind in one eye and the other wasn't so good. I had alot of pain in my chest and a constant fever. I was miserable from the chronic back ache. I just needed someone to "fix" me. That is funny- there were other areas in my life that needed to be fixed too. I had been praying for a sign, anything.... just get me better......
Then in walked Dr. Tucker! Its funny- I don't remember much about him at first. He sat in a chair and asked if I had any questions. I had a LIST! He slapped his knee and said, " A list?!? " - " Go ahead".
I thought- "what is wrong with him-- I am dying, right?"
I proceeded through my list and my last question was " Do I need to change my diet?" He laughed out loud and said " For God's sake, you have cancer- eat whatever you want!"
Two weeks went by of testing and then it was my first chemo! During that time my personal life was still spiraling out of control. I hated it- but what was I going to do?
I walked in sat quietly BY MYSELF and HE walked in....... AT THAT EXACT MOMENT I KNEW I WAS GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH DR. TUCKER!!!!
That is scary folks...... I didn't know squat about him.... Nadda, Zero, Zilch!!! I didn't know if he had a wife, girlfriend or even if he liked dogs.......
Divine intervention!!!!! My sweet nurse, Alisa- aka Nurse Plushbottom (lol), was my teaching nurse and Thomas' personal nurse. Twenty years this woman has put up with him..... and we love her for it!
Little did I know how much she would be a part of my life. Thanks be to God!!

Alisa

I made it through my cancer treatments and radiation. My hair grew back ( never to be the same) and life went on.... sorta. Every time I went in to see Dr. T, my heart would flutter and I couldn't catch my breath. How stupid- but I just couldn't stop my "desire" for him.
(Guess what- He still takes my breath away!! I still get breathless when he walks through the door. We have been married 10.5 years.... not bad!)
I would make my appointments "strategically". They would always be the last appt.of the day so he would have to sit and talk to me. It worked! ( I know- sly!)
We went one day to have lunch and it lasted 8.5 hours. I went home knowing my life was going to change.... either with him or without him but I was changing it immediately! I had NO idea if he was interested, interested in me ( you know, marriage interested) and I still didn't know where he was in his life.
Fast forward..... A trip to Baby A's changed everything!! He leaned over- after a couple of margaritas and planted a smooch on me. That was it folks....... next thing I knew we were planning our wedding!!

Fast forward again......
Now, I have been with him most of his 20 years here. I have watched him grow a practice and a reputation of great stature! He is an EXCELLENT doctor. I know- he saved my life in so many ways! He has helped others in many, many , many ways. He has one of the hardest jobs in the world! Helping those he can- but helping those who he can't... and that effects him profoundly!
He loves being a doctor but he loves his patients even more! Leaving is scary, difficult and nerve racking. But there is more to this story!

God. Yes, God! He has big plans for this man. Somehow, I am just holding on to his coattails and enjoying the ride. See, some of you don't know how faithful Thomas is. This is a man who is a convert. Yep- a son of a preacher... Baptist. Found Catholicism in college and converted. His father wasn't pleased but came to his baptism, first communion and confirmation..... looking back, I am sure it was a personal dig against his Dad's beliefs. His father passed away tragically so Thomas has never been able to share these last 30 years with him. I truly believe he has helped guide Thomas all these years and is so VERY proud of him. He would have loved his grandkids.
God has truly touched Thomas. He has 5 beautiful kids who adore him! Want to be with him ALL the time. Think he walks on water.....
So God has whispered "Trust me" in his ear. Well, easier said than done. It is easier to trust when you are in your "element". We are no longer familiar with anything. WE are leaving. WE are moving 2k miles away...... "trusting".

I know what we are doing will be good for the family. Thomas has worked very hard. The hardest work is still ahead. Raising 5 kids in todays world is confusing and challenging. They need their Dad and he needs them. It is what we are called to do-- Be Parents! This is why we are changing everything we know!!
Thomas will be able to be with US more. That is the most important work he could ever do-- be a Dad!

So, after 20 years it is time to say "good-bye" to working here. He will take his boys on a roadtrip to the great NW. It will be wonderful for all of them.
We will not say "good-bye" to our friends. They will always be our friends and we hope to see them.... either here or up there. It is time to wrap up this chapter of our life. This chapter in Thomas' life.
As a wise man once said-- Life is a gift! We cannot choose how many years we want this "gift" to be for it is God's gift and only he knows how long that will be. We hope the gift that God has given us, our children, our marriage, Thomas' talent as a doctor will continue to grow.
We are willing to trust and follow God.
To his patients, I know you are loosing someone you trust and feel safe. Please know- this man of few words really cares for you. It has been so very hard for him to walk away. He has taken time and thought to place you with another caring doctor. Trust him or her.
To his nurses- I THANK you! He can be a little spoiled. Thank you for loving him so much.

Life is Good!!

Thanks be to God for the beautiful life we have had here in Austin!