Jax started alter serving earlier this year. There are not many 4th graders who alter serve but Thomas and I were persistent that he start now! Above are his partners in crime...Leo (L) and Peter (C). These two have become good friends to Jax.
Jax hasn't been serving long and only during school Mass. So, Sunday morning one server did not show and Jax was asked to step in. Can you say "deer in the headlight" look? He nodded his head and out he went to robe. Luckily, Peter's older brother, Sam, was serving so Jax was in good hands to have such a strong leader. As he walked down the aisle, I just got so choked up. There was my first born, serving his church. Nervous, but proud he walked and snuck a look out of his eye for the "Am I doing ok?" look. A thumbs up- and he was "ON".
You could see in his face he wanted to do things correct and he was so very reverent! It makes me proud and sad. Proud because he is just a GREAT kid. He really is.... YES, he is like his Daddy in many, many ways ( all those weird, annoying traits) but he also listens like his Daddy. He watches and listens and wants to make his family proud. No one time did that boy fidget. I was so proud of him for stepping in and being there for our church.
I am a little sad... because he is almost a teenager. I have one more year as my "little boy" before he starts to think I am a total idiot. One more year to hold his hand in public. One more year before PUBLIC SCHOOL....
I have been weepy lately because I am thinking back. Newsflash- don't do that! It will tear you up!
I wish I would have done things a little different. Enjoyed the moments more. I wish I would have been the mom who sits and colored on the ground. Who played more in the yard with them when they were little. Wish I would have held them more. I did forget one thing- I was having babies back to back. So my attention was spread out.... and patience was thin. Still is- but different now.
My son will go to Rome this fall with his Daddy. I will stay behind with all the other kids. Kills me. I would love to be with them for many, many reasons... but this is a Father/Son moment. They will travel for a Canonization and pilgrimage led by our Bishop. It is a once in a life time thing- so grab it and go. It should be pretty amazing! A canonization, walking through St. Peter's, seeing "The rock on which the church is built". I NEED A NANNY!! I wanna go..... wait, sacrifice, sacrifice... breathe!
I am glad I can help give this gift to him. Time with his father and time to be immersed in his faith.
I am trying so very hard to capture moments and paste them in my memory bank. These kids are wild and loud and head strong. They make me want to scream loud.... and bang my head on a wall. But sometimes- in a quick moment- you can still see that little man ( or girl) that I held in my arms. That baby - who I guess- will always be my baby. I never knew a mother's love could run so deep and hurt so bad as they grow. But for that- I am thankful. I wouldn't trade anything for these years.
